Shattered Lion, 5 Years Later

Five years ago to the day, I became a published author. I could write a lengthy introduction to this piece detailing the surging emotions of the day, the specifics of the celebration, and the anxious energy that I felt as I clicked ‘publish’ for the first time. Trust me when I say, I can still remember it–the chocolate cake, the swelling pride, and the exact look of that first iteration of my website. 

However, I will spare you most of those details. It’s not that those details aren’t important. They are. July 1 2020 was, for me, a kind of marker in my life–a point with a ‘before’ and an ‘after’ that feel quite distinct from each other. But this post is not about the day that Shattered Lion: Volume One was released into the world. It’s about today. It’s about how I’ve changed, and learned, and grown over the past five years, and how my relationship with my first book has evolved during that time. 

For folks who are new here, and especially those who haven’t read the book, the first thing you ought to know about Shattered Lion is that I wrote most of it between the ages of 13 and 15. I edited it when I was 16 and published it when I was 17. So, it’s far from shocking that the book reads like it was written by a teenager. Sure, there are bits of it that I’m incredibly proud of. I still think Sophie is one of the best characters I’ve written. I had a ton of fun with Ralph and still reread some of his scenes. The torture section in the middle of the book is so vivid and grotesque that I’m honestly terrified of the 8th grade version of myself that wrote it. It shows potential, but also, and this is not to belabor the point, I wrote it as a teenager and I can tell. I cringe at cheesy dialogue, and inelegant transitions. There’s far too many characters and locales, and the pacing is quite disjointed. 

It’s weird. I’m obviously proud of writing and publishing a book before turning 18. It’s one of my life’s proudest achievements. But I would never–and I mean never–bring it up on a first date. What if they were to actually read it? Oh the shame I would feel if they were to see my teenaged words as a reflection of my current self. 

In a similar vein, much of the production, marketing, and selling of the book was…interesting. My first attempt at internal design was somewhat disastrous with the embarrassing and memorable omission of page numbers in the first run. Oops. I was disjointed in the publication, first selling only off my own site, then expanding to other platforms but only for the digital edition, before eventually expanding to wide distribution for print copies as well. Given that, I failed to successfully solicit reviews or get those reviews onto a platform where they could be seen, or in any way materially increase sales. 

That all said, it did not sell particularly well. I sold a few dozen copies to family and friends and a couple made it outside my circle of familiars, but I wasn’t exactly top of any best-seller lists. Honestly, I would be shocked if I even turned a profit. 

So, from a commercial perspective, Shattered Lion may not have been particularly successful, and from a literary perspective, it reflected my youth and inexperience. I’m acutely aware of both those things. But fuck it. It is still one of the most important things I’ve ever done. 

Shattered Lion taught me how to write and develop characters. It taught me to craft captivating action, and realistic dialogue. I learned to be self-critical and to edit diligently. Most crucially, I proved to myself that I can finish a book. I know how it feels to get to 80,000 words and have the disciple and self-motivation to keep going. Many writers more talented than I are still intimidated by the seeming enormity of the multi-year task that is writing a book. But because of Shattered Lion, I see it as a task that is well achievable through a bit of perseverance. 

Since Shattered Lion, I published a ‘podiobook’ which is to be released as a novella within the next year and a half. I’ve made my way through nearly 100,000 words of a historical fiction novel, and between my recreational writing and university coursework, I’ve steamed through hundreds of thousands of words over the past five years, slowly, steadily, and intentionally improving my craft. For that, and that alone I would be grateful to Shattered Lion, but honestly, I’m just getting started.

Self publishing may have been a terrifying, tumultuous, and expensive affair, but I learned so much through it: internal formatting, external formatting, marketing, distribution, and so much more. Combining my personal experience with a university course on the history of print and conversations with people in the publishing industry, I learned about the full publishing process from the first word written to the last copy sold.

Finally, I need to mention my beloved podcast. In August 2020, in hopes of boosting sales of Shattered Lion, I launched myself straight into the field of audio content creation without even looking back. I spoke to authors, bibliophiles, and close friends about their creative process and the stories that enchant, delight, and inspire them (yes that was the tagline of the podcast). Did it generate many sales? No. but it opened the door to a whole new field of creative expression that I found extremely rewarding. It became a worthwhile project in and of itself, and I am still proud of the work I did. I spoke to so many lovely people, made so many lovely friends, and had the opportunity to read and review so many weird, wonderful, and otherwise fascinating indie books. I loved my time behind the microphone, and that is thanks to Shattered Lion. 

Today, on July 1, 2025, I look fondly on Shattered Lion, not necessarily for what it is, but for everything else it gave me. Even if it is the slightly-overwritten, poorly-paced product of a teenage mind that sold fewer than 200 copies, Shattered Lion gave me the skills, knowledge, and confidence to continue writing and publishing. It also led me to all of you–a wonderful community of writers, readers, and nerds of all stripes. 

Thank you Shattered Lion. And Happy Birthday!